I feel like I have finally found a rhythm. A pace that works for me. 11 months later, I found it. No one said this first time Mom thing would come fast, or easy. That rhythm is bedtime. My oh my for months I had dreaded this time of night. DREADED IT. The problem was, I thought our routine was flawless. Dinner, play, bath, story, nurse, song, sleep.
Easy - right?
It was for a while. That is, until I realized the second cute baby Max was tucked in and dreaming that I was exhausted and still left with a whole list of to do's, emails to respond to, friends to call and a husband I had neglected to cuddle with, all day! I was too tired to even think of tackling those things, instead the zombie Mom wanted to tuck herself in bed because that cute baby would probably be up in a few hours anyway.
You see, that flawless routine was being executed all wrong. All wrong, for us, that is.
I have never been the kind of person to say there is one right way to do the parenting in a house. Especially since I have recently become a parent and have a love/hate relationship with unsolicited advice. I truly believe you have to take what you know, what you hear and the foolproof methods that people give you and mold them into what works in your house, for your life and with your child. Then, I am sure, once you get a bulletproof plan I have no doubt that plan is shot to pieces when babe #2 comes along. But, I digress.
Back to our routine. You see, with our busy day we found ourselves eating around 7:30pm and finally talking Max into shutting his eyes sometimes as late as 9:30.
I would hear friends talk about that sacred time after their kids went to bed and I would think, "What time?!" I just wanted so badly to sleep. That's when the breaking point came. When we returned from Hawaii sleep schedules had been thrown out the window. Max was up every hour, sometimes every half hour, and wanted nothing but his Mom. (He probably actually wanted sand and sunshine, but I guess I am the next best thing.) One day as I drug myself out of bed after a night of interval sleeping and Ben sleep-help-talking I decided enough is enough, our great routine was being executed wrong, all wrong, and it was not working.
That day I announced we are moving bedtime up. To 6:30. Yikes.
That was workout time. Most nights we didn't even get home from the gym until after 7. I was really messing with our lives now.
That night we made it work. I moved my gym time up, Ben played with Max while I worked out and I executed the bedtime routine while Ben worked out. Even in the first night I noticed a difference. Dinner time was easy, bath time was fun and bed time - well that first night was rough. But after all the crying was said and done Max was tucked in by 8pm. Improvement.
The next night was even better, plan executed and baby asleep by 7pm and when Max woke himself, he stirred, cried and then settled back to sleep within minutes. WHAT?! Do miracles happen? We hardly knew what to do with ourselves.
The third night reminded me that miracles are sometimes more like mirages. We were battling a nasty diaper rash and what I like to call "teething" though no teeth ever seem to break through. Max slept perfectly from 6:45 to 10:45. Then hell broke lose. He woke every 5 minutes screaming at the top of his lungs and banging his crib. We endured a pattern of Mom going into his room, kissing his head, laying him down, giving his pacifier and walking out for 2 hours. Finally raised my white flag and laid down with him, that baby needed love.
The fourth night was even better than the second. He settled in, fell asleep before 7 and slept like a baby. You know, like the new babies that only sleep. It was heavenly. I watched a movie with my husband, we ate ice cream and stayed up way past our bedtimes... by choice.
Each night since has been it's own version of goodness. Don't get me wrong - a 6:30 bedtime is really hard to make. It takes some play time away from Daddy. Ben and I can't work out together anymore and our nights aren't as flexible. But night-time Max settles in his crib without a fight and falls asleep (miracle!!) and morning-time Max wakes up happy and rested.
And the cherry on top, Mama is tackling her to do's and getting a second to unwind and breathe. We are finding rhythm in our house and I like it. Now, I think I will go cuddle with my husband. Sweet dreams!
